God Saved My Job!!!

I am amidst my delve into magic. Real Magic. It’s hard to know what to say about a subject which bears such a stigma. One will most likely attribute such thoughts of idle fantasy as some form of delirium. How incredulous the greater world can be, and how this very reason is why I’ve avoid My Curse for so long.

Today, right now, I’d like to talk about what happened to me lady week. Last week, I slept through my alarm for work. I work nights. My shift starts at 10:30pm. I slept until 12:46am. Needless to say it would have gotten me fired. When I woke up, I hurriedly called my boss. No answer. I called 2 more times. Aware if most likely lose my job, if lose everything I had. Home and all. I prayed to Raphael, who came to me to start saving the Dead months before, and to God, who I has spoken to me a few times. But they were already at work, most likely to chided me on not fully believing in them nor myself.

The next day, after a tormentous 20 hours of waiting, I showed up at work and my boss asked me what happened. I said, I called, and asked why didn’t he answer. “My phone was dead by the time I clocked in. It’s been acting up,” he said.

Did you catch it? I did.

“I called you like 5 times,” I exclaimed, “You didn’t get my voicemail?”

“No,” he muttered, thinking, confused and pondersome, his phone might have been the problem.
“Do you still have the calls on your phone?”

‘Shit!’ I thought to myself. “I don’t know… Let me see.” I opened my call list. It showed 12:51am, 12:54am, and 1:01am. I closed the list and pleaded to God & Raphael in my head. Then I opened it again. The same times were there. Then 2 more appeared, 10:43pm & 10:37pm. Still late, but better. “See Ron. Look. “

“Paul still ain’t gonna let you slide, probably, you know, if you didn’t call before your shift started.”

“I did. I don’t know why they’re not there. Let me check yours. I think they delete out of the call log after 24 hours.”

“Hope you find’em.”

I fucked with the clock in my phone and instead of changing all the times it added 2 more calls I never made! 9:34pm & 9:45pm!!!

Now I had 7 calls. 4 calls I never made. It saved my job, my home, my family. It was a miracle! Paul, my head boss, asked me why I didn’t call security to call off. I said I couldn’t get through. (It happened to me and my boss before.) “But those should be in your phone too, right? If you can’t find them, I have to fire you.”

I was sweating balls at this point. I pretended to look.

“So what happened?” As I told him what happened, he forgot about the missing phone calls and said don’t let it happen again.

I should tell you my boss HATES me! He’s lazy and he knows I think he’s incompetent. So, him letting me keep my job is amazing! Thank God for his mercy.

If that wasn’t magic, a miracle, I only know what else it could’ve been. God & Raphael, you my eternal gratitude.

“And” and Ampersand (“&”)

I haven’t done an english lesson in awhile, so I figured I jump back in with a very obscure topic. “And” and “&”. I’ll first start off with stating that the difference is very minor, and nearly impossible to know, in english. But as a writer, I find it VERY important. Further, the difference (though minor) can be used to very strong effect. The real ailment is more in the laziness and stupidity of these last generations of native english speakers and to that effect the degradation of english as a whole. (“OMG” is actually in some recently printed dictionaries. How pathetically sad. That states my point succinctly, to a T.)
What the difference is and how to use them, as I will show, can be very important. That said, let’s begin.

“&”, which is spoken as “and” when used in a sentence in place of “and”, is a symbol meaning “and per se and”. The symbol’s name is “ampersand”, a contraction of the aforementioned phrase. It can be used just like “and” can, in lieu of “and”. But, it should not be. This is a bastardization of its purpose.
“&” shows affinity and sympathy of two items, unlike “and” which only denotes the grouping of items. I know this is hard to understand. In fact, most english speakers do not understand the difference. So let me give three examples:

“Mark and Becka and Sherry and John went hiking together.”

“Mark, Becka, Sherry, and John went hiking together.”

“Mark & Becka and Sherry & John went hiking together.”

The first example is horrible english. Never write like this.
The second example is how the first example should be written and it is proper english.
The third example it also proper english and tells more about the people hiking than the second example. Here’s how:
Look at the second example again. Notice how it groups the four people together? This sentence only shows a grouping. Judging by the fact that they are hiking together you assume they are friends, or at the least have some type of reason they are together. It tells you there are two girls and two guys, so you can guess they are two couples going on a hike, but you can’t be sure about any of this. The sentence just doesn’t tell you enough for you to make a guess.
However, example three does. Look at it again. By using “&;” instead of “and”, this example shows that “Mark & Becka” are together with “Sherry & John” and that they are hiking. By using “&” instead of “and” you know that Mark cares more about Becka than he cares about Sherry or John. Why? Because “&” is sympathetic, unlike “and”, it shows favoritism. It shows a grouping within the grouping provided of by “and”.

Now that I’ve explained it, can you tell the difference between example two and three?

Here’s another example to reiterate:

Amy was asked what were some of her favorite foods.
She said, “Mangos, kiwi, orange sherbet, fish & chips, green olives… oh, and pickles!”

Did you notice “fish & chips”? She is stating that she likes fish and chips together, as a single unit, as a single favorite snack. It also means that she may not like fish and chips separately. Or at least not half as much as she would if they were together.

My Mystical Studies

Now as anyone, who knows even a little of me, knows I’m very methodical, clinical, and logical. (Though some would debate the logical part of my claim, referencing the fact that I am not an atheist. To that I say, “I am logical, just neither short-sighted nor pompous in my attributions of laws of science nor confining myself to said mere laws which are incomplete in scope. We still haven’t solved M-Theory, now have we. There are many things which modern science cannot explain and, which to any truly rational person, cannot be denied. Exhibit: Yale’s experiments on the Effects of The Observer on it’s environment.) As such, I’ve been and will continue to be very thorough in my studies & investigations regarding magic and matters of the occult.
 I have treated my current studies as occupational, though with a zeal and hunger I give none save my fetishes. 

    In other words, I am reading a shit load! 

    Here is a list of the Books I have read since the end of November: 

6Th & 7th Books of Moses
8Th Book of Moses
Abramelin
Arbatel
The Golden Tractate of Hermes Trismegistus
Goetia
Theurgia Goetia
Ars Almadel
Ars Paulina
The Key of Solomon
Golden Dawn – The Supreme Invoking Ritual of the Pentagram
The Grand Grimoire
The Grimoire of Armadel
The Grimoire of Honorius
The Grimoire of Turiel
Grimoirum Verum
Heptameron
Herbs And Their Magickal Properties
Dr. Johannes Faust’s Threefold Coercion of Hell (a.k.a. The Black Raven)
Libellus Jesuitus
The Emerald Tablet of Hermes
Sepher Raziel
The Grand Grimoire (Pratt’s Version)
The Sword of Moses
The Black Pullett
The Twelve Keys of Basil Valentine
The 49 Enochian Calls by David Griffin
Golden Dawn Enochian magic by Pat Zalewski
The Nature of the Enochian Magickal System by Benjamin Rowe
Liber 58
Liber 777
Liber Samekh Hé
Lives of the Necromancers (Uses the term improperly)
Liber Satangelica
John Dee and the Magic Tables in the Book of Soyga by Jim Reeds
Summoning Spirits by Konstantinos
The Testament of Solomon
The Enochian Tablets by Aleister Crowley.
Enochian Linguistic
A Treatise on Elemental and Talismanic Magick
Paracelsus, Scrying, and The Lingua Adamica 

                                      …I think that was all.
                                         …I read…a lot. 

Communing with the Spirits by Martin Coleman (I forgot one.) 

(I also started reading the Dead Sea Scrolls. If anyone’s interested.) 

Thesis thus far: 

    Waite is sloppy and lazy. He gives more errors than effort.
    Crowley is notable being the counterbalance to Waite’s errors, but applies Jung’s outdated Pseudo-psychology to local gods. Jung was an idiot. So by association, that makes Crowley one as well.
    Dee is most curious. He is extremely varied in his studies. Knowing Kelley was a con man, he still used him as a tool. This leads me towards two options: He is either a genius or a fool. By his ability to work out the most complicated algorithms seen in squares and add to them means I am inclined towards the former.
    Konstantinos by far I respect the most if only by his clear forthright manner. He makes no attempt to dissuade through boring or “enlightened” prose. Above all, he is concise. He describes exercises which are themselves forms of thought focus.

Historical Sea Levels

     First, I’ll cover the most boring. This first map is a map based on maximum sea level height. Given current warming of the atmosphere and oceans, the water levels will increase by 250 feet within 300 years. The map, I should state, is only accurate within 100 miles. The two hand drawn lines are the Gulf Streams. The blue line represents the current Gulf Stream. The purple line represents the future Global Gulf Stream.

This  image is licensed under a Creative Commons License.  Credit: Dave Pape

  Now onto historical sea levels. This second map represents Earth just before the end of the last Ice Age. You’ll notice how much more land was present then. The timeframe is the year, 10,500 B.C.

The sea levels rose very swiftly after this time, roughly 450 feet over 1,000 years. The shear massive inundation of the land during this sea level adjustment is why a The Flood Myth occurs in nearly all religions. An interesting note that lends itself towards this fact is that ancient man had to live near the water to fish or be within a few days walk inland (40-100 miles), as a trading city to survive. Also, the Arabian, Mediterranean, and Floridian areas were permanently flooded inland by, in some cases, hundreds of miles.
    The area labeled (1) points to:
Japan, which was once a mountain range connected to Asia Proper with a giant prehistoric inland lake.
Indonesia, Malaysia, & the islands, were all connected on a much larger peninsula. Of all the prehistoric world this area was the most effected by the sea level rise, losing tens of thousands of square miles.
Austrailia, also was much larger during this time. Allowing for the easy crossing of the ancient Polynesian peoples to reach the continent during the ice ages starting 50,000 years ago. These became the indigenous australoid peoples, who are now a distinct and separate phenotype who are superficially similar to the negroid peoples. They are not even vaguely related.
You’ll notice a very large island once existed east of prehistoric Australia. There were also thousands of smaller islands which once existed or larger versions of the ones that still exist now, throughout the oceans of the world. Most are not visible on this map, as they are less than a hundred miles in their dimensions.

Under the label (2):
The Red Sea, The Persian Gulf, The Mediterranean Sea, and the surrounding bodies of water did not exist in during the last ice age.

Under label (3):
At this time, Europe, The Caribbean, and Central America had much more land.
You’ll notice the yellow dot below the (3). This dot is on a large island which no longer exists. This island is unique. Many ancient kabbalistic maps mark this island as Atlantis.
The true curiosity of this island comes from Edgar Kasey, the most profound psychic and prophet in history. What was so astonishing about him was that he gave only gave the answers to questions, while under clinically controlled hypnosis. He had cured thousands of illnesses, found lost & kidnapped children, solved murders, and was even investigated after providing information on a plane crash. He gave a little over 44,000 prophecies. A stenographer was used to record everything he said during this time. To date, it is the most complete and largest collection of prophecy.
    He was once asked if Atlantis existed.
        He answered, “Yes.”
    He was asked where it was.
        He asked for a map and draw an island in the Caribbean. (Just where it appears on this map.)
    He was then asked if we would ever prove it existed.
        He answered, “In the year 1966 or ‘67.”
Now while we do not believe Atlantis ever existed, in 1967 a road was found lined with ruins in the Caribbean at the yellow dot on the map. A spot, on the island Kasey marked as, “Atlantis.”

Man has always had a strong need for the sea. Even today, the most populated areas are those closest to large bodies of water who can harbor ports. While man need of the sea has changed from being used for fishing to also being used for commercial shipping, we need it no less now than we have throughout history.
 And with most every early tribe of man along the shores or the nearby low lying plains for survival. They began building small cities, which became buried under the rising waters. Over 4,000 years later, they became the cities of myth.

Dirge

Your words twist
into the viscera
like a fist in the black haze of slumber
just when i had forgotten
what it means to miss you
in this phased out
reality pantomiming my
bloody smile as
a true form of happiness. I smell your sweat
on a pillow you’ve never met before.
And I remember who
I once was and who
I am not, anymore.

Hello
You probably don’t
remember me
but forgetting you
was harder than
drinking sunlight or workin’ twilight in the deadtime
beneath overpass signs.
And my mind drives
30,000 miles an hour
to shower me with my very own tears

So why do these
memories keep
coming back to me?
Just as I forget your face I see you
looking back at me in my mirror
like a chronoscopic dirge.

please forgive me god for my losing faith
in my self.
For I am a monster
a demon, feeding into my fears
and in my depths I am drowning
below the tides of tried and
the truly decieved for a while
and think that these scars have healed
but i’m only lying to myself

So why do these memories keep
coming back to me?
Just as I forget your face I see you
looking back at me in my mirror
like a chronoscopic dirge of past revelries
how could I forget me
and who I was going to be
that turned out to be anybody other than me
And who I am is lonely marked
on a shelf too high to reach with my hands
So why do these
memories keep
coming back to me?
Just as I forget you
I see you
looking back at me just as I turn to leave.

So bye bye, oh
and by the by, I think that I
am happier now without you
and without me forgetting me
like in a make believe story of a child
called “stinging curiosity”
who played at love and lost
more than anyone can, but you see
i am no longer burdened by what you thought
that i
could be

It said “hi. Bye forget the mess in your head instead look into the clouds of loud silences and hear their gears turning”

 

A Seraph’s Love Left in Shambles

To me there has never has been a soul as foul.
chopping through your forest of love now. I bet you you’re sorry now. I bet now you’re sorry.
but it’s a worthless and futile task now.
There are no more pieces of you to pick up.
Now, I watch as you look over your shoulder
at shadows, at nothing, at me
What does it take for you to understand
I am the tempest, the fire, the most baleful of men
I am the hunter, the destroyer, the king of the end
You are a beauty, a grace, but not unto me 

 You are my equal, my reflection, reversed to purity
and in me decadence you provide all your answers
without questions and I am given not a reprieve,
oh my darling, my angel, look at me
my darling, my angel, bow down now for me
for it is something I can not do. 

 oh my darling, my angel, look at me
my darling, my angel, bow down now for me
for it is something I can not do.
For you. For me. Forgive.
Forget me. Without Regret.
Fortune does not favor the weak.
Forgive. For you. Forget. For Me 

The Shades of You and I

Delicious like a vicious poison, toxic like a caustic cloud
you wrap me in a world without end and a hopeful shroud
surrounds my life now.
I hope I make you proud and astounded
by the joy and love I encapsulate from you
I’ll insulate you from the pains of the world
and you are like the world to me.

{CHORUS}
I’m blue when you are saddened.
I’m feel misshapened when you’re maddened.
Deranged by our lycanthropic love as it evolves through the ages
because I will never want to turn further pages
without you.
Emily they scream inside my head
and like the dead it stirs me.

We make no concessions in our professions of our love
and in secret nights we make confessions of our darker desires
to be within and not without one another’s touch.
I say “I could never love the world half as much as you.”
You say “I could never love the world half as much as I love you.”
and I say “Yeah, that too.”
You smile. God, I love you.

{CHORUS}

Like the waking dead I’m called to you for succor
I want you like I want no other lover.
Only madmen could turn from love
the way I turn to you
And I will never turn away.
You are a brightest white light against my deepest blackest days.
And if I die before I wake,
I’ll pray to no lord my soul to take.
‘Cause if I’d die I’d find you and remind you
that sometimes some things last forever.
{Spoken}
I love you less than three thousand, three hundred, thirty-three. (<3333)
You mean the world to me.
You are my everything.
My Emily.

Aishiteru. Aishiteru. I love you.

The Laws of Demons

There are many types of people. Most of them are worthless vile creatures. I hate most people, because people…People are worth hating.
 I feel trapped -everyday- by a world of liars, of spineless, brainless demons. Willing to hurt those around them for self-preservation, for nothing more than the ability to be lazy. Safe in Sloth by erring on the side of ass kissing. Time and time again, I find that the people in higher positions, whether my boss or “My” president, they are worthless offal. Everyday, I am struck, wounded by the knowledge that it is not ability to perform a task, but the ability to accept being face-fucked by ‘superiors’ which lets someone advance to these higher positions.
 And when these bastard vermin attain their coveted higher position they, like the vermin they replace, revel in their ability to force others to do their work whilst they themselves do nothing but drink coffee and sit on their ass. They still expect others to work, follow all rules, and they use those rules (twist them) to harass those that do not act as they once did.
 I, I don’t take kindly to those who attempt to exploit me. I do my job. I expect those, whether above or below me, to do the EXACT same. But, not these blighters. “Do as I say, not as I do.” They wear such a motto. It is the maxim of the legion carrion.
“It’s not my job.” I’ve heard so many times, askewed to imply that despite the fact that one may be able to provide assistance for someone who deserves it by their need, they would err on the side of laziness and worthlessness. Far be it for them to extend their hand in needed help for another less fortunate, for someone working hard who could use the help. Because they gain nothing themselves, only work. How sad, this world has become ruled by demons. This is but one of the reasons my blog in entitled, Apocalypse 18:2.
 Apocalypse means “to reveal”. But you might better know this word by its english counterpart, Revelation. Revelation 18:2 speaks volumes of  the current world, “Fallen, fallen is the city of Babylon. For it has become a dwelling place of demons.”
 That is what the world has become. Made vile by The Vile Spawn of Satan. Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Vanity, Pride, Lust, Gluttony.
 Honor, Honesty, Piety, Altruism, Moderation. These things are distained in this world. This world claims a love of Heroes, but promotes only Villains. How ill this world has become.
 I am possessed of extreme intelligence. Possessed by Honor, Honesty, Piety, Altruism, and Moderation, I am a nobleman. But I am of sin as well. Wrath is my vice. I don’t presume that I am perfect. Or even worthy of praise. I despise my mistakes. My Wrath has made me harm someone so severely that I fear myself. I must perpetually control my urges to smite those who offend me. In my youth my fists delivered swift vengeance for minimal trespasses. Now I must use words first. And cafefully worded, they must be. Because, in America, saying something like, “If you don’t shut up, I’m going to hurt you,” is no different than a quick hammer blow to a person’s ribs shattering their side and stopping their speech. Both are assault. Their only difference is in degree. Meer words can put you in jail. But the words of the one who caused such anger is free of reprisal. When did the world become so fucked up. A person my belittle another until they are so enraged they act upon the urge to make it stop. These same harassing words cause our lessers to commit suicide. So why is that not a crime as well. What is worse, is the fact that a person who fails at committing suicide can be convicted of “Attempted Suicide”. How novelly contemptuous, further ostracize those who have been so ostracized they wish to cease living. Such brilliant cruelty. The Laws of Demons.

Yesterday Again

Yesterday was such a good day
Why can’t it be yesterday again

Yesterday I tucked you in
watched as the lamp made
a fire in your eyes, last night
Watched as you laid your head down
The last day you said I love you
before your dreams touched the sky
you kissed me good night
and I slept so sound
You made me happy all around

The last night
The last day
I was happy
Yesterday

Yesterdays fade away
hopeless and sad
too upset to be mad
less than half a man
I can’t even stand
even see
the tears clouding me
coward fit
I exist
when nothing wants me

Yesterday was such a good day
Why can’t it be yesterday again
Yesterday you were my girlfriend
Why can’t it be yesterday again

Quite content with crying fits

Why can’t it be yesterday again

Can’t it be yesterday again

So Pretty

I Love you
Spread your legs so I can love you more
You’re So Pretty, you self-addicting whore
back away
what’s trodden black is an evil place
I’ll leave in dirt what I would say
I hope that dirt becomes the earth
that sits atop your grave

Hush!

And sleep away your second wind
Sorry Honeybun, you can’t begin at “The End.”